4:30 AM.. and not feeling sleepy at all !
Saturday, I did the mistake of being out till the morning. It wasn’t planned, but it ended up like that. So, both Sunday night and tonight (Monday), I’m wide awake. I just got out of the shower. I had nothing better to do. After spending two hours in bed not being able to even get close to sleep.. and that’s under the effect of the sleeping pills (expensive, useless bullshit !).
Part of the problem is feeling guilty for not really being productive at home. I watched too much useless TV and browsed around the web. I wrote little code, and practiced little Japanese.. at the last minute of course. Then it’s 2AM and I want to feel relaxed to go to sleep. It didn’t help that I rested when I came back home this evening. But even then, I had to do it for the body, inside I really didn’t want to rest.
I’ll have to try discipline myself and cut on time wasting activities. In the end, if I don’t feel like I’ve achieved something for the day, I just can’t sleep ! The sleeping pills only help me sleep better, but don’t do anything if I don’t want to sleep in the first place. Going running at the gym also, is probably worse. It puts more stress on the body, while the mind keeps it awake.
I truly think that I was built to stay awake at night. It’s always been natural for me, having to work during the day is a big problem.
Posted by Davide Pasca in Uncategorized