I find myself badly wanting to change jobs.. but I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.
I know what I like, but I can’t afford the price. I would just like to take a break and study things, do experiments. I would really like to continue study math and Japanese language. However I don’t have much freedom. I’m a mature and self-sustained person. I have to work to live a decent life, especially here in Japan where I have no family to support me.
Programming games may seem pretty interesting, but my interests seem to always go against company needs. Companies need to make money. No need to make cool looking 3D graphics, the key is to do anything that is convenient.
I understand that economy is important and I think I’ve been pretty good at adapting with my employers past and current. However it seems that I’m always helping companies to keep their business up, while I get paid as a game programmer: not much really !
If I have to work on things that I don’t really like, shouldn’t I just go for an even more boring job that pays me a lot more ? I feel cheated because game companies think that their employees are inherently loyal idiots that will always stick to the game business. Employees tamed by their unwillingness to look outside the game business.
Fack that ! I’m willing to trash my game programmer experience (which is actually going to be useful anyway) ..I want to make more money ! I want to work less !! Work isn’t teaching me much.. program this, program that, no real challenges, I need challenges, I want to learn new things, I want to learn important things. If I have to do a job where I spend the whole day bored, I may as well go flip burgers. It wont challenge my brain much, but at least I can communicate with people.
I think I’m about to explode.. a big change is going to happen soon, somehow.
It’s sad that companies like people that “can stand the pressure”.. it sounds like they are looking for tough employees, but in truth they are just looking for people with little expectations. People that are either apathetic or willing to accept just about anything to keep their position.
I need change !
Posted by Davide Pasca in Society, Diary
